I wanted to make this post to give an update to everyone out there. This blog keeps getting a lot of hits despite the fact that I haven’t made a post in almost 18 months. I also wanted to give hope to any newly early returned missionaries who may read this: it might be hard right now but I promise it will get better. Life will go on and it will be wonderful and you’ll be so happy and grateful for the life you’re living. Just give yourself a little bit of time to heal and continue to trust in the fact that God has a plan for you, even if it’s not the plan you envisioned for yourself.
(Also, I have a regular-life blog now at http://www.lifelibertypursuitofpizza.wordpress.com if you want to stay up-to-date on the goings on of my life 🙂 )
About this time (tomorrow, specifically) was when I was predicted to come home from my mission if all went as planned. Obviously, all didn’t go as planned, and so I ended up coming home approximately 17 months and 3 weeks ago instead.
I’m not going to sugarcoat anything: the first few months after coming home were miserable. It felt like the end of the world – I had planned on my mission for six months and those plans were reversed so rapidly and completely. After coming home, I was afraid to go anywhere by myself for two reasons: first I felt like I could have a breakdown literally anywhere and at any moment and I didn’t want to be alone in that event; second I was worried I’d run into someone I know and the questions wouldn’t stop. I was afraid to try anything new or alone because I was worried I would fail at that, just like I had failed at my mission. Essentially, my self-confidence was at an all-time low and I my life felt like it was at a dead-end.
But, with the help of my family and my wonderful then-boyfriend (now-husband), my confidence was slowly built back up. I started reaching out to try new things. I went back to school and got some killer grades. I took some really difficult classes (I’m looking at you, American Constitutional Law). I put my head down, won an academic award and a few scholarships. I graduate in May with my Bachelor’s degree in Political Science!
I also decided to follow a dream and apply for an internship in Washington, D.C. It was something that after coming home early I ruled out as a possibility; I didn’t think I would fare very well being so far away from everybody I knew and loved because the last time I had tried, it had ended terribly. Not only did I get an internship, I ended up loving every single minute of it. I learned so much about myself and grew to love that amazing city and the people I worked with (and even public transportation).
Probably the thing that I’m most proud of is the fact that I married my best friend in the temple about a month and a half ago. It was the perfect day and I am so excited to spend forever with my eternal companion. He is so patient and wonderful to me and I feel so blessed that despite my imperfections he loves me perfectly.
So, in summation: life goes on and it is beautiful.